


Torture Chamber for the Living

by Es_Aitch



Series: Hurt Fic [3]
Category: Doctor Who (2005), Doctor Who (Big Finish Audio)
Genre: Gen, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:47:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 16,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22096621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Es_Aitch/pseuds/Es_Aitch
Summary: “Heaven Sent” AU.What if the Doctor had never actually defeated Anti-Time?  What if his Confession Dial experiences were actually so much worse than he wanted to admit – even to himself – that he invented a completely different story to tell about his time there.  After all, “Rule 1: The Doctor Lies”.SPOILERS FOR Big Finish Audio’s “Neverland” and “Zagreus”(There was no way around it given what I’m doing here, since I want people to have the necessary info to enjoy this story.  But I highly recommend them).Warnings for Major Character injuries and physical/psychological tortures.
Series: Hurt Fic [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1393168
Comments: 26
Kudos: 23





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I was going to wait until Monday/Tuesday for my 'regular posting days', but I've been waiting to start posting this work for so long that I can't.
> 
> So, the posting days for this fic will be Thursday/Friday.
> 
> * * *

The view of Mayor Me’s entry room vanished before the Doctor’s eyes. He tried to take in a breath, but couldn’t. He coughed and sputtered as he fell to the ground. It had been a long time since he had travelled like that. He had once compared a Vortex Manipulator to a space hopper. But, no. He had forgotten about this. This was like travelling by jumping off of a swing before it had reached the optimum point for a safe landing.

He shook his head to try to clear it. Then he slowly stood, dusted himself off, and looked around the place he had materialised. It was… familiar, but just a tiny bit different. He looked around and noticed his work areas were there. The cables that needed his attention hung from above his head. There were holes in the ceiling letting in light from the next level up. He _knew_ this space. He ran to one of the staircases and sighed with relief. He was inside of the TARDIS. He could not believe his luck. After Me had taken his key, he did not think he would see his beloved ship ever again.

He made his way to the main floor of the console room. He smiled, because the console looked correct, too. _Could he really dare to hope he were this lucky?_ He approached it, but when he stretched out his hands to touch the controls, sparks flashed and he could sense an energy current which he knew would cause deadly harm if he tried to break through it. “On second thought, maybe I shouldn’t be so glad to be here.”

He shoved his hands into his pockets so that he wouldn’t be tempted to touch anything else and looked around the space. There was something off about it. Like when House had inhabited her back when her soul had been encased in flesh. But this felt more sinister than House, if that were possible. Sinister and very familiar. But he could not put his finger on why it felt familiar. He shook his head to refocus on the task at hand: getting out of here. 

He heard a voice, as if coming from a far-off place. It was both familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. But the words. The words haunted him and sparked something deep inside of him. Something long forgotten. It had been so long ago, since he thought he had expelled it. _So how could it be here? And why now?_ The Voice spoke the words slowly. Not the speed of the Nursery Rhyme he had learned as a Time Tot. No. It was meant to haunt him. It got louder until he could clearly hear the words it spoke. It was the same phrase over and over, getting louder and clearer each time, as the owner of the voice moved closer.

_Zagreus is my secret name,  
Zagreus is the one to blame,  
Zagreus is the Time Lords' shame,  
The beast that I've been keeping._

The Doctor had flashbacks to when he had been consumed by Anti-Time. The fight that Charlotte Pollard had helped him to win. Maybe he hadn’t won. In many ways, this was one of his worst fears: all the demons he ever fought would still be around. And that one in particular he had buried so very deep that he had been able to ignore it for centuries. Even during the Time War. He bristled and ran to the TARDIS doors. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t open them. Another terrifying thought hit him. As he often did when alone, he spoke aloud. “This _isn’t_ the TARDIS. It’s only a place meant to _look_ like the TARDIS.”

He heard a cackling and sarcastic laugh echo around the room before the chant started again:

_Zagreus sings when all is lost,  
Zagreus takes all those he's crossed,  
Zagreus wins and all it cost,  
The hero's hearts he's keeping. _

The owner of the voice was nearly to the console room now. And it _was_ familiar. He could identify it, if he weren’t so afraid of naming the truth. The Doctor took a breath and waited. There was no way out now, he would have to face it.

Moments later, from one of the entry points on the upper level, the Doctor saw a shadowy figure moving silently into the room. He watched it carefully. The closer it came towards him, the more details he could see. A green frock coat; longer and whispery hair with a hint of curl; a face far younger than his own. A face more carefree, without the hints of the Time War, without the burden of the billions of lives he had ended. A face that was no longer his. And yet still was his.

Zagreus approached the Doctor and offered a twisted sort of smile. “Doctor,” he clapped once in pleasure, “So glad you could _finally_ join me. I have been waiting such a _very_ long time for this.”

Zagreus rubbed his hands together as he considered the appearance of the Doctor. He hummed not quite in pleasure as he took in the grey curls, the red velvet coat, the dark vest, and dark trousers.

The merriment in Zagreus’ tone made the Doctor step back. But beyond that, he needed to stand up to the other. He would have to, if he wanted to get out of here. He offered a flat-toned reply. “Which is fascinating, since you’ve had so many other opportunities.”

“Ah-ah-ah, I really haven’t. You’ve been so distracted with caring for your companions, preventing the Web of Time from unravelling, and then fighting that dreaded Time War. This is really the first chance I’ve had to receive your undivided attention.”

The entire time Zagreus had been speaking, he had slowly been walking towards the Doctor. The Doctor had moved so that he wouldn’t be trapped by the doors. He was near one of the stairs that led to the lower level of the console room. He had an escape route now. That was all that mattered. “Well, if you’ve been watching all that time, you know it’s probably best to not have my attention.”

Zagreus laughed. “Oh, Doctor, you haven’t lost your touch. Still fighting me anyway you can. But you should really know by now, you’ll lose. One way or another, this is a battle you cannot win.” His tone was changing, becoming less merry and more sinister. “Did you really think you had gotten rid of me? I live _for-e-ver_.”

“You sound pretty certain of that. If you are inside of me,” he tapped the side of his head, “Then you only live as long as I do. And you should know how far I will go to protect this universe!”

Now the two were stood facing each other. The Doctor could still escape down the stairs. Zagreus laughed again. “Always the fighter, aren’t you? Always the one to destroy anything in order to keep the upper hand, even yourself. But we’re just getting started. Neither of us wants that just yet. You, because you can’t resist a mystery. Me because I’m planning to have fun.” He lent into the Doctor’s space. “I. Know. You.” Then, in a similar gesture to the Doctor’s earlier one, he tapped the side of his head.

The Doctor breathed heavily a few moments. That statement, more than all the others stoked a deep terror in him. His fight-or-flight instincts were kicking in. Zagreus offered a large and sinister smile, and then yelled. “Run, Doctor!”

The Doctor didn’t need any more encouragement. He took off down the stairs. Zagreus’ laughter echoed around him. The sound was enough to keep him running. One of the doors opened and he ran through it. 

The TARDIS, _no, no, no, the not-TARDIS_ , was practically endless these days. But, if Zagreus had been with him all this time, the creature would know every turn he would make, every action he would do. How long could he keep running? How long could he keep ahead of himself?


	2. Chapter 2

As the Doctor made his way through his Not-Ship, all the memories from when he had been inflicted with Anti-Time came flooding back to him.

Of course, it had all started with Charlotte Elspeth Pollard. She was being used as a conduit to allow those of Anti-Time to infiltrate the Universe of Time. Romana, President of Gallifrey, had captured his Eighth self to show him the damage Anti-Time was doing to their universe as it broke down the Web of Time. Somehow, the Gallifreyan Time Station Romana used to transport them to the Universe of Anti-Time had got it wrong. But they had no choice, in the end. The Time Station, the Doctor’s TARDIS, and Charley had all been pulled through. They had to finish what they started if he had any hope of saving Charley. The whole of the Web of Time being undone had been a distant second in his mind.

Then Rassilon had appeared before them. And after, for Charley’s benefit, they recounted the tale of Zagreus and the horror of the parallels to their predicament became clear. “ _The_ _Gate of Zagreus opened before Rassilon, and all of the antiverse was revealed to him, and its terrible beauty ached in his hearts. So through them he ventured, there to do battle with Zagreus, the beast, never resting as long as history is lasting, until either or both are laid to waste_.”

None of them would have known. None of them could have known, not really, that the nursery tales about the battle with Zagreus had been misunderstood. He huffed to himself. _Not unlike getting the Hybrid wrong_. The Zagreus tales were always interpreted as being about Rassilon. Because the names listed in all the tales throughout the Universe had been some semblance of “Rassilon”. But in the end, this faery story was about himself, as River had so often commented that such stories always involved him in one way or another. The Doctor. His battle with Anti-Time, Rassilon, and so many others was laid out plainly in the nursery rhyme.

Romana had gone with Sentris to meet other Neverpeople. But he had been two steps ahead. He had already figured out that the Neverpeople were actually former Time Lords. Those who had been subjected to the highest and cruellest form of punishment available on Gallifrey back in the day: Dispersal.

Dispersal was created by Rassilon. The offenders would be dissipated from history, their entire timeline erased as if they had never existed. And since they had never existed, they only had one place to go: the Hell of the Time Lords: a place of Anti-Time. There were no Time Lords there because there was no Time to be lord over. Rassilon had not only created the Eye of Harmony, but he also created Anti-Time. And to hide the horrendous thing he had done, he created the story of Zagreus as a nursery story and nothing more. 

But the Neverpeople weren’t done. They had devised a plan to get themselves back into the Universe of Time. A casket, said to contain Rassilon himself. Only, it contained enough raw and ravenous Anti-Time, that when detonated from Romana’s Time Station, it would destroy Gallifrey and take the Web of Time with it. The Doctor couldn’t allow for that to happen. So he piloted the TARDIS around the Time Station before it could explode. Only it did explode. It exploded within the very heart of the TARDIS, consuming her and himself in the process.

The Doctor shook his head. He had expected the TARDIS to groan at his memories and not hearing her, not feeling her shudder, reminded him that he wasn’t within her walls. There was something terrible chasing him and no safety net this time. That’s when he heard the poem ringing out using his Eighth voice _:  
_ _Zagreus at the end of days,  
Zagreus lies all other ways,  
Zagreus comes when time's a maze,  
And all of history is weeping._

He really needed to get away from this creature. But without access to the console, the only option was to keep running. He wasn’t just running from Zagreus. He was running from himself and all the terrible things he had done over his long lives. He turned a corner and found himself in… Romana’s bedroom. “Now how did this get here? I jettisoned it long ago.”

Still, he suspected Zagreus would stay away from the room as long as possible, so he figured he had a few moments. He stretched out upon her bed, closed his eyes and thought. 

Memories seemed to flow easier now. He remembered the feeling of all-consuming power he experienced when Anti-Time took control over him. He remembered the fear in Charley’s voice. The cracking sound of his hand against her cheek as he slapped her for…. He shook his head. No. Not _him_. He hadn’t done that. Zagreus did. In the distance, he heard a cackling laugh. “Of course, you would know what I’m thinking. We’re linked. We’re the same.”

He closed his eyes again. He remembered going throughout the TARDIS, looking for help. Zagreus called her “Ship”. And he never was sure if that was because Zagreus knew the TARDIS was sentient or because he had taken the information from his own mind. But even as he battled things with Zagreus in his own head, he knew the TARDIS could help him. The TARDIS had given him a clue. _A Brief History of Time_ had been completely blank, while _The Alice Compendium_ was completely filled in, including an inscription from Charley’s grandmother. That was when he found it: the secret passage.

He sat bolt upright. A secret passage. Romana’s room, which shouldn’t be here. One of the things Romana kept in her room were books. He got up and when to her bookshelf. None of the books looked familiar to him. Or perhaps more accurately, they all seemed to be written in a language he couldn’t read. “Strange. Very strange. Even without the TARDIS, I know over five billion languages…”

There was one book that seemed out of place and when he pulled it down, he realised he could read it. _How to Win at Life_. “That’s a strange title. Winning is easy, especially if you’re me. You just have to imagine yourself winning.”

He opened the book. There was no inscription on the title page, but two pages in, there was a poem:  
 _As you come into this world, something else is also born.  
_ _You begin your life, and it begins a journey: towards you.  
_ _It moves slowly, but it never stops.  
_ _Wherever you go, whatever path you take, it will follow; never faster, never slower, always coming.  
_ _You will run - it will walk. You will rest - it will not.  
_ _One day you will linger in the same place too long.  
_ _You will sit too still or sleep too deep - and when, too late, you rise to go, you will notice a second shadow next to yours.  
_ _Your life will then be over._

He frowned. Well, that was similar to the context of Anti-Time. Balance of the universe and all that. “… _Until either or both are laid to rest_. Is that what this poem means?”

He paused to listen for a reply. Hearing none, he snapped the book shut. For being such a small book, the echo of the book snapping was far too loud. He looked around. Nothing seemed off. And then… then… Romana’s bookshelf started to move. The Doctor grinned. “Knew there would be one. Romana was never one to leave herself without an escape route.”

He slipped through the passage. The wall behind him closed. He was in a dark space. He started to dig through his pockets. “Torch, torch, torch. I know I have one around here…” He finally wrapped his fingers around it. “Ah, there we are.”

He shone the light around the space he was in. It was a… well, a box. A couple of inches taller than him and about four square feet in area. He hummed in disapproval. “Still haven’t learned that the one thing to never ever put into a box is me, eh?”

He heard a thump above him and a knock on the ceiling. Then Zagreus spoke. “Now, now, Doctor. Don’t take away all the fun.”

The Doctor frowned. _Okay, part of the game, but why here? Why a box_? Then the light landed on a little bottle. He picked it up. It was labelled with the word ‘cyanide’. He remembered. “Schrödinger’s Cat.”  
“Good. And why is that important?”  
“Because the cat was both living and dead at the same time. The only thing that made one situation or the other real was opening the…” He broke off. “This is _theatre_. Everything appears real, but nothing is real at all. At the same time!”

He clicked off his torch, pocketed it, and closed his eyes. He focused hard, imagining himself in a blank room. The White Wall he had stood against in Torchwood Tower after Rose had been taken to Pete’s World came to mind. He emptied his mind of the emotion. Only held to the image of that blank wall. Moments later there was a creaking sound as one of the walls fell away. He opened his eyes again and grinned as he stepped out of the box.

The Doctor heard a slow clapping of hands. “Oh, very good, Doctor. Most impressive. Much quicker than you were the last time you had to face me.”

“Learning is why I keep travelling. Repeating the same mistakes over and over prove that you’ve learned nothing.”

Zagreus jumped down from the top of the box. The Doctor glanced around. He didn’t recognise the place. He had never been here before. Zagreus read his expression. “Of course, you have. How quickly you forget.”  
“Between some pretty terrible regenerations and the Time War, it’s bound to happen. So, where are we?”  
“My world.”

The Doctor frowned and realisation dawned on him too late. Zagreus clapped his hands twice quickly and the Doctor found himself lying down inside a… coffin for lack of a better word. He groaned. The container that had been filled with Anti-Time. He tried to push on every available surface. There was no out this time. No. No time. That was the point. There was no time here. And he... he was filled to bursting with time. Not just everything he had faced, but everything he had lived through. And with the additional energy the Time Lords had given him…. He would be a feast for Anti-Time.

The energy inside the box started to pulsate as he lay there. He could feel it trying to break through his defences. Slowly. Slowly. Slowly. He was losing his hold on being the Doctor. Without the protection of the TARDIS, how could he possibly hope to defeat Anti-Time?


	3. Chapter 3

Zagreus – no the Doctor – no Zagreus panted heavily. The last time he had been in this situation, he wasn’t the only one infected with Anti-Time. The TARDIS had been as well. Which explained all the holoprojections of people from different parts of his lives. But now? He didn’t understand how that body could be here. He knew it was a future incarnation of the Doctor, but it still didn’t make sense. Grey, frown lines, and a deep sorrow that he couldn’t possibly understand. The man had been afraid of him. Rightly so. He had been hidden here for so long. Tucked away in some dusty corner of his mind. But in this place, he was alive again! Had control again! And it was exhilarating!

But he knew the Doctor would never allow him to be free. He had to catch the Time Lord and enslave him to his will. He chased the other man until he trapped him in the container. A very familiar container. Perhaps if there was enough Anti-Time left in the container, he could re-infect the Time Lord to gain proper control over him. It had been far easier than he had expected.

That done, he just needed to wait. These things took time. Six months the last time. He hoped it wouldn’t take as long this time. He started to explore the ship. The console room where he had first seen the other man was odd and less than comforting. Too much metal – too many lights. He longed for his own console room with the open spaces, the gothic-cathedral-like ceilings, and the piecemeal controls that were familiar to him. He wiped his green sleeve against his forehead. He was thinking too hard. But his console room should be around here somewhere. All he had to do was find it. And he had about six months to do it.

As he was searching for it, he hummed the familiar chant to himself:  
 _Zagreus sits inside your head,  
Zagreus lives among the dead,   
Zagreus sees you in your bed,   
And eats you when you're sleeping. _

_Zagreus seeks the hero's ship.  
Zagreus needs the Web to rip.  
Zagreus sups Time at a drip,   
‘cause bit by bit it's leaking._

“Stop it! Idiot! We made that last line up at school.” He paused to look around the familiar and yet strange ship. “And yet… Maybe that’s what’s going on. My head hurts like it did back then. Maybe I _am_ still the Doctor.”

It was an odd thought, considering. But not completely out of the scope of possibilities. And _him_. That _other_ Doctor. The one with the red velvet coat and those eyebrows. He _looks_ how one might imagine Zagreus to appear. “Very disturbing, indeed. So, which is which? Is one of us supposed to be the Doctor and the other Zagreus. Or are we both Zagreus to each other’s Doctor side?”

He looked up at the ceiling. “ _Ship_! Have you an answer to that?”

He tilted his head as he listened and waited for an answer. None came, which angered him. He ran through the nearest door and found himself in a library. “Okay, I remember how to do this from last time. If we’re both consumed by Anti-Time, all I have to do is think.”

He closed his eyes and tried to get rid of one of the kitchens. But there was no sound. He had expected to hear a rumble, to feel a shake. There was nothing. He opened his eyes and looked around. “What was it that other one said. When he ran to the doors and tried to get out? Something. Something… Think! THINK! Oh, yes. This wasn’t really the TARDIS. That’s what he had said. But how did _he_ know? And why don’t I?”

Still, it could be as simple as not having enough power yet. This was his world. Had to be. He had total control over it. He just had to figure out how best to manage that control. Well, it seemed he now had six months to figure it out.

* * *

There wasn’t much to do inside the container, but the Doctor was relieved that it didn’t seem to be filled with Anti-Time, or at least, it didn’t seem to affect this version of him if there was. But then, Anti-Time. In a space without time, how would he know? Would he have any idea how much time had even passed? He struggled against the sides again. Locked and no way out. At least, none that he could find. He took a breath. “Okay. You’re stuck. No way out. So you have time. Use it wisely. _Think_.”

But thinking was hard. All of that had been before the Time War. He had just enough space to raise his hand and run it over his face. “Okay. Okay. Last time, it wasn’t just me who was infected by Anti-Time. The TARDIS had been as well. And to the point that she was willing to turn to serve Rassilon to be rid of me.” 

Another part of the poem came back to him:  
 _Zagreus seeks the hero's ship.  
Zagreus needs the Web to rip.  
Zagreus sups Time at a drip,   
And life aside, he's sweeping. _

Yes. Well, he had failed Clara. Her life had been swept aside because of her rash decisions. And he had no way to save her. Perhaps he still harboured a bit of Zagreus after all. But it wasn’t just Zagreus who wanted the TARDIS…. What was it the TARDIS had told him? What had Rassilon promised her? He took a breath and thought carefully. “ _To be purged of the infection that is you, Doctor. Should I suffer till Doomsday holding you in for the good of the universe? Should I be your tomb, drifting in space? What's in it for me_?”

He had been hurt by those words, but he hadn’t had time to think about them, because she had begun to chuck out bits of his life. She even got rid of Charley. And all while wearing the Brigadier’s face. Using that voice of his longest and closest Earth-bound friend. And for himself, he had been powerless to help Charley.

There was a knock on the chamber. As if on cue, the voice from his Eighth body asked the question about what he was thinking. “Six months in, I think you’ve had enough time in there, don’t you?” The voice lowered to a sinister whisper. “I know what you’re thinking about. You couldn’t save Clara for the same reason you refused to save Charley: because _you were scared, Doctor. Scared of what might happen should Zagreus be unleashed upon the universe_.”

The Doctor groaned, no one knew himself as well as himself. “What is it you want from me? Why are you tormenting me?”

The voice cackled. “Nothing much. Just the truth.”

“You want truth? Fine. I was scared back then! And still am. Terrified, in fact. And every creature across all universes should be afraid, too. Because what I hold inside of me is more powerful and will cause more devastation than anything else anyone could imagine!”

Everything went eerily quiet. Then he heard a click. He pressed against the lid of the container and it shifted. He slowly opened it and stuck his head out. He looked around. He saw the body of his former self. No. Not him. _Zagreus_. But it looked like he was stuck in mid-thought. And about to say something. He went over to the person and waved his hands around it. “What? Some kind of a time slip? You’re simply frozen there?”

He made a few gestures and faces at the other man. No response. “Well, seeing as you’re not going anywhere, I’ll just be off.”

With that, he took off running.

The TARDIS, well not-TARDIS, but he assumed this place would be very similar to her, was massive and he sometimes wasn’t always aware of what rooms were around. Nor when they’d show up. He went deeper into the ship than he had been in a long time. He found himself in… a dungeon of all places. He entered and looked around. “Interesting. I don’t remember you being here before. But then, the Time War, I suppose… No. Wait! I remember this place. The Brigadier, well TARDIS had brought me here to torture me when…” 

He was suddenly consumed with a deadly terror. It could only mean one thing. He had to get out of here. Now. He turned to leave, but behind him was Zagreus, who offered a wicked grin. “What is the Earth idiom? ‘Out of the frying pan and into the fire?’”

The Doctor scanned the room. Plenty of devices to use as weapons, but no escape, so long as Zagreus stood by the door. He grabbed a poker that was in a nearby fire. It’s tip glowed from the heat.

Zagreus clicked his tongue and shook his head admonishing the Doctor. “Tsk, tsk.. You should never make a threat you don’t intend to follow through on. Isn’t that what Clara said to the half-faced man after you regenerated to this form?”

The Doctor shook his head. “Stop it. Get out of my head!”  
“I can’t. I am _in_ your head. What’s in yours is in mine.”  
“Then it should be easy enough to be rid of you!”

He charged Zagreus with the poker, but the creature easily stepped aside and it ended up lodged in the door. Zagreus simply reached around the Doctor from behind and grabbed him to restrain him. “Now I have you right where I want you. Do you remember this place? All that the TARDIS did to me under command of Rassilon?” He paused and when the Doctor gave no reply, he continued. “That holds _nothing_ on what I plan to do to _you_.”

Zagreus then hit the Doctor on the head hard enough to render the Time Lord unconscious. 


	4. Chapter 4

The Doctor slowly came to awareness. He had no idea how much time had passed. Well, Not-Time. He sighed as he softly spoke. “Not-Time. Not-TARDIS. Not-Real… Maybe I’m Not-Doctor.”

He blinked his eyes several times to try to wake up properly. He discovered he was restrained to a table. He glanced down one arm and then the other. Then he raised his head enough to look at his ankles. He let his head fall back against the hard table. “Ow!” 

After he recovered from the shock of hitting his head, he considered his predicament. “I wish Jo were here. I could really use her skills at escapology right now.”

From a dark corner of the room he heard a sinister chuckle, though it was higher pitched than he expected. He acknowledged the figure. “Zagreus.”

The figure stepped into the light. “Not quite.”

The Doctor frowned. The figure was rather short, had a grey top, black trousers, short dark hair, and eyes that inflated to the size of plates. He shook his head. It couldn’t be her. “Clara?”

“In a manner of speaking.”

His frown grew as she approached him. Wait, wait, wait. If this was about Zagreus and Anti-Time that would mean…. He gasped. “TARDIS. But not. Charley called you: Evil TARDIS.”

She allowed a little playful smile to appear. “Of course. Zagreus went off to prepare other things. So, it’s my turn to play with you for a bit.” She paused as she turned to face the wall that was covered in torture devices. “Now. I’m sick and tired of hearing about Charley or any of your other companions. How many of them did you save, Doctor? How many times did you sacrifice me for them?”

The Doctor grumbled. “Still jealous. I thought we resolved all of that.”  
“Oh, I’m beyond jealous these days and it’s time you and I had a little chat.”  
“You’ve got me right where you want me, then. But I’m tired of talking. You want to have it out? Want to punish me? As I said, so long ago: bring it on!”

She selected a riding crop type weapon and turned back around to approach the table. “I’m fantastic at multitasking. So, let’s do both. We’ll start with the Time War.”

She brought the riding crop down across his stomach with a strength he hadn’t imagined Clara having. He gasped in pain, but when he tried to curl around the wounded area, the restraints stopped him. He panted a few moments before he could reply. “Okay. What about it?”

She offered a confused expression. “Seriously? I thought what you did to me with Anti-Time was bad. But the Time War….”

The Doctor scowled. “It’s not like any of _us_ knew! The clue’s in the name: _Time_ war. If anyone should have had any idea of what would happen, it would’ve been you lot.”

She brought the crop down on him again. This time across his shins. “And how many times did we try to warn you? And how many of you paid attention? Even you ran, Doctor. Like always. Dragging me with you, when I could have done something to help. How many lives could we have saved had you _stayed_?”

He had grunted when the crop hit his shins, but that wasn’t as painful as when she had hit his stomach. He snorted at the last bit. “How many did we save because we did stay out of it and gave warnings to other planets?”

She brought the crop down across his chest and upper arms. He gasped. That had hurt almost as bad as his stomach. She growled. “I _felt_ it Doctor. As every single planet died and burned. As they were all locked away in perpetual agony! I _still_ feel it!”

He panted through the pain a few moments and finally could speak. “Do you think I don’t?”

Then she brought the crop down across the Doctor’s waist, hitting his genitals too. That pain made tears prickle at the sides of his eyes. He was grateful he had clothes on. Surely it would be worse without the little bit of protection they provided? It took him a long time to speak. He was in too much pain too even formulate the word ‘ow’. Due to his silence, she spoke again, hitting him with each phrase. “It’s not the same! You feel it as history. I. Feel. It. As. Present.”

She beat him a few more times, quickly and brutally.

The pain was blinding to the Doctor. He couldn’t even understand the words Cla – no the not-TARDIS was saying. Everything around him was just pain. The pain was so intense it took him several moments to realise she had actually stopped. He just panted through the pain for several moments. “I feel it too. It’s why I keep running. If it ever catches up to me, it might kill me.”

At that, everything went eerily quiet. The Doctor looked around and realised that whatever he had said, had made things stop again. He didn’t know how long he had, but he quickly looked at his restraints again. He tried to remember all the tricks Houdini had taught him. He took a calming breath and started to wiggle one hand free. It took several minutes, but he finally got it free. From there, it was easy to get his sonic out and release the other restraints. Once free, he staggered his way out of the torture room and decided he had to find the medbay.

He shook his head and frowned. They would look for him there. They would look for him in his room too. Even if this was just a model of the TARDIS, it was possible that some of his companion rooms were around. Maybe Martha had left a medical bag or something behind. Yes. He could go there. All he had to do is remember where her room was. He didn’t know how much time he had, but he had to try.

It took several hours he thought, though it was hard to tell with the Anti-Time flowing through this place. He was honestly just glad he could tell the place seemed to be frozen. He grinned when he saw the room. He approached the door and sighed with relief when it opened. As he entered, he realised he had never been to her room before. He had no way to know if she had really anything here. She hadn’t travelled with him as long as some of his other companions. He started his search in the wardrobe, which led to his success. 

He pulled the medical kit out and started to rummage through it. Nothing in it was going to help him. He really needed the medbay. Or a healing nap. Though, he knew either of those might kill him. He dug through the bag again and found some pain pills. He read the label to make sure they didn’t contain aspirin. Satisfied, he took a few. He hoped they would work. Any amount of relief would be better than what he was experiencing right now.

He debated laying on the bed, but decided it would be too tempting to fall asleep. He saw a chair in the corner, so he sat there, in order to give his aching body a chance to rest.


	5. Chapter 5

In a distant part of the Doctor’s mind, he heard chanting.  
 _Zagreus sits inside your head,  
Zagreus lives among the dead,   
Zagreus sees you in your bed,   
And eats you when you're sleeping. _

It took until the end of the stanza for him to wake up properly and realise it wasn’t in his mind. It wasn’t part of a dream. It was coming down the corridor. Closer to where he was currently. He sprang from the chair. The sleep had done him some good, but he was still in worse shape than he wanted to be for the next encounter.

He opened the door and looked both ways down the corridor. Seeing no one, he snuck out and decided to make his way back to the console room. Getting to the controls was the solution to all of this, he was certain. He turned a corner and the chanting grew louder.  
 _Zagreus taking time apart,  
Zagreus fears the hero’s heart,  
Zagreus seeks the final part,   
The reward that he is reaping. _

The Doctor had forgotten about that part of the poem. He wondered what lay in store for him, if he was caught by Zagreus. Clar… no, the Not-TARDIS told him Zagreus had been off preparing other things. He shuddered at the thought of what that could mean. Last time, he had been caught for six months in the Anti-Time chamber. 

Time was odd here. How long had the Not-TARDIS beaten him? How long had he rested in Martha’s room? There was no way to tell. He had fallen asleep. He hadn’t meant to, but clearly his body needed the rest. He was lucky this time. He hadn’t been caught… yet. 

Seeing no one and nothing in the corridor, he exited Martha’s room and made his way partly down the hall. He paused and listened carefully. He heard nothing. A memory came back to him of being at the end of the universe. “ _Not a breath. Not a slither. Not a click or a tick; all the clocks stopped. This is the silence at the end of time_.”

He held his breath. He wasn’t the only one here. He should hear some kind of sound. He waited. And waited. Nothing. He had to choose which way to go. He looked both ways along the hall. Finally, he picked a direction, and as quietly as he could, started to move.

The Doctor sighed with relief when he made it to the T-intersection without issue. He picked another direction and this time, ran. He ran for a full three minutes – well as much as he could tell time. He ran so fast, that he needed to stop to breathe. It took a few grateful gulps of air, before he held his breath and listened again…

Still he heard nothing. He nodded to himself. “Good. Maybe I can make it to the console room.”

With that, he started to move again. More slowly this time. It didn’t feel quite like a trap, but he was not entirely sure he was headed in the right direction.

He didn’t know how long he walked, but finally he saw a door that he was sure led to the room he wanted. He approached it and it slowly swung open. He held his breath, because he wasn’t sure what was on the other side. Finally, the room was open to him. It wasn’t the console room. 

He should have known better. This was the World of Zagreus. He might never get free. The room appeared to be nothing. Not that it was an empty room. But it was literally nothing. Stories from his childhood of the gaps between time and space filled his head. This too, was considered a hell for Time Lords. He felt a shove at his back and he fell into the room. He heard Zagreus’ cackle as he hit… well, it was clearly a floor of some sort. But he didn’t know the floor was there. It’s not that it was dark and he couldn’t see. It was simply that nothing was there. 

Other memories came back to him. Stepping out into the Mandragora Helix, holding Charley’s hand in the world of Anti-Time, being in the white gap between the negative coordinates of E-Space and the positive coordinates of N-Space. He looked around him. “Or the gap between three-dimensional and two-dimensional space.”

Too many possibilities. He huffed slightly. “Or knowing Zagreus, some combination of all of them. Preparing something special, indeed.”

He didn’t know what to do or how to defeat something that he never completely understood when he had the TARDIS. Thinking back on all those times, spending too much time on any of those planes was too much. In the universe of Anti-Time, moving had caused more disaster than waiting. Decision made. He sat down, closed his eyes, tried to think, and waited.

He had no idea how much time had passed, but he expected Zagreus would tell him. Or he’d figure it out once he got out of this place. If he could reach the secondary or even tertiary console rooms, he would be able to do _something_ and hopefully without killing himself. Question was, with all the rooms jettisoned and redesigns to the TARDIS, did any of those rooms even exist any longer? 

Then, there was that blasted nursery rhyme. It had been about him, all those years ago. Was it still about him now? If he had lost to Zagreus, then at this point, maybe it wasn’t about him. Finally, there was the poem in the book he had read. Was that about him? Or Zagreus? Or some other evil he had yet to encounter? He huffed in frustration. This was getting him nowhere. 

Currently, any direction he moved could take him farther away from the entrance. Everything that surrounded him was just… nothing. He huffed again. He needed to calm himself and think properly. He crossed his legs, rested his hands on his knees, and just breathed slowly for a few minutes. He emptied his mind of everything. He tried to make it as empty as the space that surrounded him. 

The Doctor’s faith in his own abilities started to waver. Maybe he wouldn’t find a way out. Maybe this was his torture chamber. He deserved no less, given everything he always put his companions through, even to their deaths. Worse, he had gotten to a point of convincing them to take their own lives, as Adelaide Brook had done. Had he done that with Adric? Had he unknowingly followed a sequence of events that led to Adric’s death? Perhaps the same could be said for every companion that left him.

This wasn’t helping; it was only making him feel worse and he would never get out of here if he gave in to those thoughts. He took a breath and opened his eyes. In front of him was his Eighth Body. No. Zagreus. 

Zagreus grinned broadly as he looked down at the Doctor. “Good morning, Doctor. Are you feeling well-rested?”

He narrowed his eyes at the creature before him, but made no move to stand. “Is there some reason I should?”

Maybe he could trick Zagreus at his own game and figure out how time moved here. Zagreus did not disappoint. “Well, I did let Clara…”.   
“NOT-TARDIS,” the Doctor interrupted.  
“Yes, anyway, let her carry on far too long, I would think with the six months I let you sleep and nine years you’ve spent here was enough time to heal.”

The shock must have been obvious on the Doctor’s features, because Zagreus’ grin broadened and he started to chuckle darkly. Ten years. The Doctor had been here for at least ten years. It didn’t feel like that much time had passed. He wondered if he looked any older. Zagreus stared at him for a long moment and finally nodded, as if reading the Doctor’s mind. “You don’t look older yet. I should perhaps be more specific and say it’s been twelve years, _out there_. Time inside a TARDIS has always been a little strange.”

The Doctor shook his head. “This isn’t the TARDIS.”

Zagreus shrugged. “My version of a TARDIS, then. Time doesn’t move the same way here that it does out there.”  
“Like a dream.”  
“A dream, if you like.”  
“Your version of a TARDIS. This isn’t a TARDIS, then. Do you know where we are?”

Zagreus grinned in reply. It was enough of an answer for the Doctor. Then the grin fell and he became very serious. “But, the real question is: do _you_ know where you are, Doctor?”

The Doctor shifted slightly in discomfort. He had some suspicions. But no way to properly test any of them. Not from here. “No and I wouldn’t trust you, even if you did tell me.”

Zagreus pouted. “Oh, Doctor, I’m hurt. I guess I should just go, then!”

He clapped his hands twice and disappeared. 

Actually, no. Well, maybe he did, the Doctor couldn’t tell. He went from being in nothingness to being in darkness. He wasn’t sure which was worse.


	6. Chapter 6

The total darkness didn’t last long. The Doctor saw what appeared to be a pinprick of light ahead of him. It wasn’t much, practically nothing. But he had been in the dark long enough that his eyes picked up on it immediately. Having no other direction to follow, he started to walk towards it, while occasionally checking behind him. After about a minute, he stopped walking. The light hadn’t changed. It hadn’t moved, from what he could tell, but it hadn’t gotten bigger as he had moved closer to it. Maybe it only moved when he did, given the impression of not moving. “That’s disappointing.”

He looked behind him again. Only darkness. He looked again to the light. “Only one way to go.”

He bit his lip in thought, then remembered. He rummaged through his pockets and grinned as a hand grasped his torch. He pulled it out and clicked it on. It did something odd. The light didn’t disperse, nor did it dispel the darkness. It was as if the torch wasn’t on at all, even though he could see it was on. The light it gave off was no more than a pinprick. Like the light in the distance. He put his hand in front of the beam and it lit his hand up, but the moment he took his hand away, it went back to not dispersing the darkness. He flashed the beam towards his face and he felt the light shine brightly in his eyes, but when he turned it to see in any direction around him, it was no more than a pinprick. “Darkness that consumes light. This can’t be good.”

He turned off the torch and pocketed it. No sense in using something that wasn’t going to work as intended. He nodded to himself and continued towards the pinprick of light. After another minute or two of walking, he tried running towards it. 

After about thirty seconds of running, his feet weren’t touching ground any longer. He was still in total darkness, but the location of the pinprick of light didn’t change, it was hard to tell if he was actually falling or not. There was a small sense of gravity change, which told him that in normal circumstances he would be falling, but not being able to see a change, he had no idea how far or how fast. There’d be no summoning the TARDIS to save him this time. 

Just as he was about to make a desperate attempt to reach out and grasp at the light, the Doctor collided with the ground. He grunted as the shocking pain of the sudden stop ran through his entire body. He tried to push himself up, but the pain and weakness overtook him. He rested his head back down and closed his eyes again. He had no idea how much time he had before either Zagreus or Not-TARDIS would find him, but he needed a moment.

He tried to move again, this time starting slowly. He wiggled his fingers, then his toes. Starting with the extremities, he worked his way closer to the core of his body. That seemed to work. Finally, he moved his arms to press him back up into a sitting position. Again, he worked slowly and the pain didn’t overwhelm him this time.

He blinked a few times and saw a wall close by. He shifted himself and lent his back against it. Then he closed his eyes and just breathed again. A few minutes – hours? days? years? – later, he opened his eyes again and took in his surroundings. He was in an ancient part of the TARDIS. A part he was aware existed, but had never been in before. He blinked several times in disbelief.

The room he was in was comprised entirely of stone. Ancient stone. Not unlike those of the Mayan Temples in South America or Stonehenge in England. At the centre of the room was an altar of sorts, it wasn’t square, but round. 

The Doctor smiled. Round meant that advanced knowledge had been involved. He stood slowly and approached it. That was when he saw that it wasn’t entirely stone. Like the craft he had discovered with Donna under Vesuvius, circuits and technology were infused into the stone. The Doctor panted a few moments to calm himself. “The Tertiary Control Room. Or, the original one, if I were being honest. Now, can I touch the controls?”

He dug through his pockets. He found the yo-yo, he wrapped the string around his finger and tossed it at the altar. No sparks happened. That was a good start. But he’d need something organic to be sure. He dug through his pockets again. The closest he had was his packet of Jelly Babies. He shrugged, took one out and tossed it at the controls. No sparks. Good. 

He approached the controls and looked over them. Not that much different from the controls of his other consoles. He pressed a familiar button and a stone wall opened revealing a viewing screen. “Perfect. Now to see where I am…”

He activated several of the stone controls, but the screen remained blank. “Okay, not entirely unexpected. Maybe I can look at where I am.”

He pressed a few more buttons and the screen finally flickered to life. The image was like the old dot-matrix computer print outs. Well, it would give him enough of an idea. He figured, he wouldn’t be able to get a map of the interior space, so he requested to see the outer shape. It took some time and when the image displayed, he was shocked. It wasn’t a police box, or even the cylindrical shape of TARDISes before the chameleon circuit activated. No. It was a very distinctive shape. One he knew well. One he had carried in his pocket for a long time. It was a disk.

The Doctor backed away from the controls, a bit horrified, but things started to make sense. “Friends torturing me, a creature from my past to haunt me, things stop when I… confess information. No… I don’t want to be here. I _shouldn’t_ be here!”

He knew that shape could only mean one thing: he was inside of his Confession Dial. Mayor Me had taken his key so he couldn’t be traced. She wasn’t worried about his companions or any creatures that were time sensitive. She had been worried the TARDIS would try to find him. Try to save him. Without a direct link to her, without the ability to contact her, the only way out was on his own. 

He supposed it only made sense to block the TARDIS, since the Dial was only to be used at the end of a Time Lord’s life and he was inside of his quite too soon for his own taste. “Still, now that I know, I can beat it. There is a solution. There is a way out. All Time Lords have gone through this for eons. All the way back to Rassilon. And they all made it out.”

It gave him hope. Hope was a dangerous thing. Good, but dangerous. He looked over all of the controls again. They were ancient and basic. He couldn’t do a lot from here. But it was possible that he could use this as a place of safety. He looked around him. Like his own console room, several exits were scattered around the walls. He had fallen into it, so he looked up, but there was only darkness there.

He nodded to himself, he hadn’t expected any different. He dug through his pockets and pulled out a sketch book. This place wasn’t the TARDIS, it was his Confession Dial, so it was possible the rooms didn’t move around. Perhaps he would be able to make a map. He would have to remember every room he had encountered to this point and the different paths he had taken as he had moved around. One thing he was certain of, his own familiar console room wasn’t the heart of the Dial. Neither was this console room. If he wanted out, the centre is what he would have to find. So, he started to etch his map.

As he was making his map, he had an idea. The TARDIS was linked to him. The Confession Dial was linked to him. Zagreus was weakly linked to him. Maybe he could use this console room to figure out where Zagreus was. It wouldn’t help him with his map, but might give him an idea about what the creature was doing. He pocketed his book and flipped some controls and turned some dials. He looked at the viewing screen and was disappointed to see nothing there. He waited a few moments to see if it was just taking time, but still nothing. He grimaced. “So, it’s meant to be torture then. Creatures pursuing me and hurting me. Me not knowing much about my surroundings…”

He turned the screen off. It was time to explore a bit more.


	7. Chapter 7

The place was very like the TARDIS, but it was a mix-match of how she redesigned herself throughout the years. A part of the Doctor wondered just how much of this place was like the TARDIS. He now had some proof that he was inside his Confession Dial. “But what information could they possibly want from me?”

He heard Clara’s giggle in the distance. No, it was the Not-TARDIS. “Who said they want something from _you_?”  
“Well, it’s my Dial, that’s generally how it goes.”  
“What if they want something from Zagreus and you are just a means to their end?”

That made the Doctor stop in his tracks. Literally. Could she be right? Sure, she had beat him but what if that was all part of the game? What if this was all about information Zagreus had? “I wasn’t even sure he was still around. Why trap me?”  
“Why indeed?”

He scowled. He knew that was the end of this conversation. Still, he didn’t want to get caught by her. Being tortured by her once had been more than he liked. Strangely he wasn’t afraid of her. He just didn’t want to associate the TARDIS or Clara with Bad Things. It was best to avoid her as long as he could.

When he came to a cross intersection, he turned down another hall, hoping to ensure he avoided the Not-TARDIS. The halls here were completely unfamiliar to him. If this was based on his own TARDIS, then this part was obviously created before he had stolen her away. He gently stroked one of the walls. He was disappointed when he didn’t feel the reassuring thrum of her essence. “She was already ancient when I took her. So, although I don’t recognise this place, it doesn’t mean that it’s not part of her history.”

He sighed and continued down the hall. When he was back with his TARDIS, he was going to have to have a long conversation with her. 

As the Doctor passed one door, he could smell something cooking. It made him realise that he was hungry. There was every possibility that it was a trap, but if time moved as strangely as Zagreus had suggested, then it was possible it had been years since he had eaten anything. His stomach grumbled. So, he cautiously entered the room.

He looked around the edges of the door for some type of trigger, and then carefully scanned the area he had to walk for the same. The only thing that was left was possible pressure triggers in the floor. He searched his pockets and found his torch. He grinned and laid it on its side. Then he pushed it so it would roll across the floor along the path he would have to walk. He watched and waited…. Nothing happened. “Of course, it could take more weight, but it’s a risk I’ll have to chance.”

He gingerly placed one foot, then the next into the room. He pursed his lips in thought. Then he decided to just give up and walk. He made sure to stay in the path which the torch had taken. He made it to the stove. Something was cooking there. Something he hadn’t had in years… 

It had been the afternoon of Susan’s graduation from the Academy. They had a family meal before making their way to the Citadel for the ceremony. Everyone was there: his children, their spouses, his grandchildren, and his wife.

He sighed painfully at the memory. He missed them. Missed them more than he could ever admit. If he admitted to the pain, then staying on the run, keeping everyone he needed to keep safe would be an impossible burden.

He looked at the stove. “So far all has been safe. If smell is to be trusted, I know what’s inside that pot. But this is theatre, can I trust my own senses?”

A part of him no longer cared if this meant his end. He lifted the lid. When no explosion happened, he dared to look over the edge and into the pot. “As I thought. They don’t want me dead. How can I confess things if I’m dead? And even if their goal is to get something out of Zagreus, they need me to do it.”

He looked around for a bowl and spoon. This was likely to be one of the most painful meals he’d ever had. The memories and emotions it stirred had been ignored too long. He swallowed thickly as he poured some of the stew into his bowl.

He had wanted to do something fancier for Susan’s graduation, but his wife had insisted they make a meal that would be quick to clean up, provide enough sustenance for the ceremony, and easy to make enough for everyone. “She had been right. She usually was about those things. She and the TARDIS had that in common.”

He picked up his bowl and made his way to sit at the table. Since leaving Gallifrey, he rarely ate alone on the TARDIS. There was too much of the universe to see and he was good at making friends. Also, he was always running. Running in case any of the pain ever caught up with him. Now, it seemed it had.

He looked into the bowl of stew, as if it would give him some kind of answer. It just sat there. He took a breath, filled his spoon, and closed his eyes as he put the food into his mouth.

He was right. It hurt. Not physically, of course, but all those memories flooded back and he simply couldn’t stop them. He started to weep, salty tears actually falling into the stew. He didn’t care. Couldn’t care. He now realised he needed to eat. So, he forced himself to eat spoonful after spoonful as he tried to keep as many memories as possible locked inside the deep parts of his mind.

Before long, he had finished. While the memories had been painful, he did feel better now that he had eaten something. “Strange thing. It’s theatre. Hundreds of years could pass outside of the dial and mere moments in here. Or the reverse could be true as well. There’s no way to tell.”

The stew had been prepared for him, so he left it on the stove. But the bowl and spoon he cleaned and put away again. If the Not-TARDIS was right and they were after information from Zagreus, maybe this had been left for him and the Doctor benefited. He could work with that.

He pulled out his sketchbook and added to his map. Then he left the kitchen.


	8. Chapter 8

The Doctor had been wandering halls and sketching in his book as he went along. Suddenly, he heard a terrible screaming. Billions upon billions of voices crying in agony. He closed his eyes, but still they would not be silent. Instead, they grew louder. He realised they were in his head. His head had not been this full of noise since…. Since…

He tried to swallow down the horror of that thought. He couldn’t think of it. Wouldn’t think of it. Anything. Anything but _that_!

Then, he heard another voice. A counter to the screams. It was different because it came from outside of his head. The voice of his Not-Eighth self. Zagreus.   
_Zagreus sets the skies ablaze.  
_ _The stars his flame a gleaming..._

The Doctor shook his head. That phrase could only mean one thing. He started to run, but no matter where he ran, the screams in his head would not leave him alone! And there was the counter-sound of Zagreus singing that phrase over and over. Though, he would occasionally stop singing long enough to let out a cackle.

The Doctor really wasn’t paying attention to where he was going now. He should have, this would be a huge chunk of information missing from his map. But he couldn’t with all the noise in his mind. Ahead of him, there was a door that opened to him. There was light that spilt into the hall. It beckoned to him. It was as if he had no choice, he had to enter that room.

But when the door closed behind him and he took a proper look around, he wished he had never come here. It was a horror he hadn’t seen – hadn’t been able to witness, whether from the protection of the TARDIS or the fact that he was regenerating at the time, he wasn’t sure. The TARDIS would know. How could she not? “Why would you hide this from me? Why keep it at all? Why torture yourself with it?”

He paused and waited for a reply. A part of him knew none would come, but he held out hope. Even Not-TARDIS and Zagreus were silent. “It’s part of the torture, then. Fine. I’ll watch!”

It wasn’t long before he was regretting his bravery. Because the images started to change. It didn’t take long before the shock wave rippled across the galaxies. Karn was somehow spared “The sisterhood would’ve protected it, I guess.”

He watched as it encompassed space from Gallifrey to Skaro to the planets where it was legend the TARDISes originated. He had said the entire Time War was Time Locked when he used _The Moment_ , but seeing it from this vantage point, brought new meaning to his words. So many planets destroyed and missing. So many species extinct, or nearly extinct. All because of this one decision.

The vision wasn’t complete, though. He should have expected as much, but somehow, he didn’t. He watched as the image zoomed in. Now he was within the Time Locked place. Daleks were still firing on Gallifrey. People on Gallifrey were still dying in a rain of fire. Frozen in time, in pain, and terror.

The Doctor considered turning away for a moment. But he couldn’t. This was the point. This is what he had done when he had used that weapon. This is what he did to the universe. He cried out in protest. “At least there _was_ still a universe!”

The images zoomed in closer. He saw the suffering of his fellow Gallifreyans. Locked in a terrible moment. All of them screaming. They were burning and at the moment of death, but not allowed the blessed silence and release that death would bring. Then all the cries in his head returned, stronger than before. He knew this is what the cries had meant, but somehow seeing it was much worse than he had ever imagined. “I’m sorry! I did it because none of you would’ve ever considered it. You would have willingly sacrificed the Whole of Creation! You’d never been out there! You’ve never seen! You couldn’t make the choice because you wouldn’t have understood the ramifications of your decisions!”

The cries in his head went suddenly silent. The images faded and he was standing in a non-descript room. He breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe that confession was enough. Maybe that was why everything faded away. Just as he was about to exit the room, there came a familiar voice from what seemed like very far away. “Do you?”

Shocked, he turned around several times, looking for the direction from which the voice came. Suddenly, out of nowhere, she was standing beside him. He looked into her pale-blue eyes, took in her purple dress and her dark hair piled upon her head. He gasped. “Missy.”

She nodded once. “Did you know? When you sent me back there, that you were sending me back into that?”

He pursed his lips. “You knew what you were going back into. You took your vengeance on Rassilon.”  
“Did you _know_?”  
“Of course I did! It’s why I debated shooting you. I wanted to end your suffering!”

He turned away from her. He covered his face. “I wanted to save you and didn’t know how…”

It was a confession. He expected everything around him to freeze. He was shocked when he felt a pair of hands touching his, encouraging him to lower his own hands from his face.

He slowly did. But he wasn’t sure he wanted to see what he would see. He tilted his head when she didn’t look any different. “I… I thought… You’d…” He swallowed thickly and shrugged.

She offered a small smile. “That I’d looked burned and horrifying. You thought _that_ led to my regeneration?”

He nodded, knowing they were both talking about his use of _The Moment_. She smiled and shook her head. “You had told me how the War ended. Mentioned different things about what happened after I ran away. Did you think I didn’t listen? I ensured I wouldn’t be trapped there when it happened.”

He nodded. “I’m sorry.”  
“I know. We saved each other that day.”  
“For better or worse? Sometimes I wonder.”  
“Me too. If you had to do it again?”  
“I would do whatever necessary to save Earth. You know that.”

A nod was her only reply. 

They both went quiet. The space around them transformed again. This time to what he knew the star charts would show: vast empty spaces where the planets and galaxies lost to _The Moment_ were supposed to be. She squeezed his hand. “You said once, ‘Sometimes the only choices you have are bad ones. But you still have to choose.’”

He turned his head to look at her, surprised. “How do you know that? You weren’t around when I said that.”

She offered a small knowing smile. “I think you’ll find I know more than you could possibly imagine, my dear Doctor.” She released his hand and held up her wrist to look at her watch. “Now. It’s time for you to run.”

The Doctor gave her a baffled expression, but didn’t move. So, she screamed at him, “Run, Doctor!”

He wasted no time. He left the room and took off running.


	9. Chapter 9

The Doctor hated running this much, but if there was one thing he always trusted, it was when the Master told him to run. Not that he would admit that. But he did. They had been best friends. There was a reason why they kept orbiting each other like planets. Always being draw into and pushed away from each other’s gravitational forces. 

He ran until he simply had to stop to breathe. Oddly, he heard no screams and no singing from Zagreus. He started to wonder what was going on and if he had perhaps done something wrong. Or worse, if he was running into a trap. 

He saw a door nearby and he entered that room. Doors and rooms could provide safety. As long as he kept his head on straight and sought out the exits. He entered the room and sighed with relief. It was another console room. All wood – the secondary console room. He could work with that. There was a door on the other side. Two exits, less than optimum, but it would have to do. 

“Finally. I have been waiting for you to arrive here.”

The voice came from behind the Doctor. He was confused. It was a voice he had not heard in a very long time. He hadn’t heard it since before the Time War. In fact, he hadn’t heard that voice since he wore his first face. He slowly turned around and breathed her name as he saw her. “Barbara.”

She looked just how he remembered her. Exactly the same. He approached her slowly, but she raised her hand. “I am not Barbara, Doctor.”

He stopped in his tracks and frowned. “If you’re not her, then who are you?”

A small smile crossed her features. “Can you not tell?”

The Doctor shook his head, ‘no’, still in a state of total confusion. Her smile broadened. “I was the first one to piece everything together. To tell you that the ship was trying to tell us something was wrong.”

The Doctor swallowed thickly. “And you never forgave me for how I treated you.”

She shook her head. “Of course I did, but that is hardly my point. Did you ever wonder or stop to think _why_ I might have been able to figure things out?”

The Doctor scratched the back of his neck nervously. “Well, since you proved yourself to be highly intelligent and very resourceful….” He tapered off at the expression she gave him. And then he continued again. “I hardly understood the TARDIS myself back then.”

She smiled again. “And what do you think now?”

He smiled in return. “That maybe, since the TARDIS couldn’t get my attention, nor even Susan’s, that she certainly got yours. You might have even connected in some small way.”

Barbara nodded. “And so, as a part of her was always with me, a part of me was always with her.”

It took a minute for the Doctor to piece everything together. In some ways, she was telling him too much at once and his brain needed a chance to catch up. But when he understood, he simply beamed. “So not like Idris. You’re… you…”

She giggled softly. “Yes. I am me.”  
“And the real you? Not… Like the other one?”

She smiled again. He clearly needed reassurance, not that she blamed him. “I am _your_ TARDIS.”

He nodded. “Why did it take so long for you to appear to me?”

“The security and mechanisms of the Confession Dial are more difficult to work with than you realise.”  
“But Me took my key.”  
“You have carried your Dial long enough; do you think I would not try to connect with it?”

The Doctor smiled. “Of course! That does make sense.”

Barbara, the TARDIS, smiled in return, glad he was accepting of her. He took a breath and calmed himself down. “So, what now? How do I get out of here?”  
“I am here with you. This is as much a puzzle for me as it is for you. But the first thing you need to understand is that all is not as it appears. Everything you think you know is a lie.”

He didn’t like the sound of that at all. “What the hell does that mean?”  
“It means, my dear Doctor, that you have been living your life a certain way because you believe that is how your life should be led. But your life may not be your own.”

His frown grew deeper at that explanation. How could his life not be his own? How could everything be a lie. “You mean everything here, right? In the Dial. Everything is a lie; my life is not my own because I’m no longer properly part of the universe.”

Her features were the picture of compassion. “I cannot explain it to you. You have to discover the truth for yourself. And once you do, I am so very sorry, Doctor, but everything will change from that moment forward.”

The Doctor surged with hope. “Because I’ll get out of here! Of course, I wouldn’t expect things to be the same if I do get out of here. Already I feel things are different, if only for the amount of time I’ve spent here.”

A part of her wanted to explain everything to him. But some things could only be learnt if they are lived. He understood that better than most, so she would have to leave him to his confusion for a little longer.

She looked around the console room as if she heard something. The Doctor stopped his worry long enough to notice. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

“I cannot stay longer. It is not yet my time. But I promise you, I will protect you. No. I will do more. When the time comes, I will defend you with my very soul. For now, be assured of my love for you. This is not the proper console room. When you find it, you will be able to release yourself from the Dial.”

With a nod of her head and a small smile, she vanished from his sight.

He sighed. “I wish it were that easy for me.”

But before he started to feel too sorry for himself, he realised that if she was here with him, that a part of her was trapped here too. Suddenly escaping the Dial wasn’t just about freeing himself, but it was about freeing her as well. That was all the motivation he needed. He would break free and save her in the process.

The TARDIS had told him what to do. He had to find the proper console room. He had sort of already figured that out. Trouble was, it was obvious that his console room hadn’t been the proper one. So, which one was? And how would he find it, even if he knew it. He looked around. The Secondary Control Room was clearly not the right one, or the TARDIS would have told him the button to press and released them right away. Knowing what he had to do, he left the room and went in search of this 'proper control room'.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are a lot of quotes from _Zagreus_ in this chapter. But I adapted and changed them as needed.
> 
> * * *

The Doctor was moving along a corridor. The problem was, he didn’t actually know what the TARDIS meant by ‘proper control room’. _His_ control room hadn’t been proper. The Tertiary one hadn’t been proper, neither had the Secondary one. Was he meant to just go through all the rooms guessing until he figured it out?

Just then, he heard Zagreus singing again:  
_Zagreus waits at the end of the world,  
For Zagreus is the end of the world.  
His time is the end of time,  
And his moment time's undoing._

The Doctor didn’t like the sound of that at all, nor what it might indicate for his future. Still, it was pointless to try to avoid him. This was the realm of Zagreus, hiding would do him no good if Zagreus wanted to find him. So, he proceeded to follow the voice. 

The Doctor opened a particular door. He entered the room and looked around. It was vaguely familiar. It took him a minute to place it. A youth club! He had been with Ace. The voice sang out again. It was definitely louder. He followed it through the club until he reached the gymnasium room. 

Zagreus looked up at him and grinned. “Oh Doctor, so glad you made it. This is it you know. The final battle. The point where truths are revealed.”  
“Why all the play-acting, then? Why didn’t you just bring me here directly?”  
“Where would the fun in that be for me?”

The Doctor didn’t have an answer to that, so he remained silent. He crossed his arms over his chest and glared at the other. “So, what is this? Are you and I going to throw each other around like two teenage boys having it out?”

Zagreus chuckled softly. “Not quite. I have a better idea. One that will cause far less damage to either of us. We each will have a champion.” He paused for a moment. “Clara, come along! You can stop hiding now.”

The Doctor started for a moment, but then he regained his composure. Out came… well, she looked like Clara, but she was clearly Not-TARDIS. Zagreus continued. “She’s you’re companion, so she’s your champion.”

The Doctor frowned. “No! She’ Not-TARDIS. She beat me nearly unconscious.”

Zagreus laughed. “Then you know what a good fighter she is! Regardless of what you think she is, she is still your companion and it’s only right.”

The Doctor glared at the other man. “And who is _your_ champion, then?”

The Doctor had seen two others who could be Zagreus’ own champion. And he didn’t like his odds with either of them fighting with Clar – the Not-TARDIS.

The man in the green frock-coat grinned. “Barbara, dear, your turn.”

The Doctor swallowed hard and paled slightly. Barbara had told him she was the True-TARDIS. Why would she fight for Zagreus and not him? He couldn’t hold it in any longer. “What the hell is going on?”

Zagreus clapped in delight at the Doctor’s emotion. “Yes! That’s it! That’s what I’ve been waiting to see. The Oncoming Storm. This, my dear sir, is the final battle. Each of us has a champion and they will fight each other on our behalf.”

The Doctor shook his head. “But it doesn’t make sense! They’re reversed! Clara should fight for you and Barbara for me.”

All three of the others in the room turned to the Doctor and raised eyebrows at him. He felt suddenly wrong-footed. He didn’t know what to make of it. “Fine! If this is how things are going to go. But only because I’m curious.”

He turned and took a seat in one of the chairs along the wall. Zagreus followed suit. Barbara and Clara entered the matted area, which was designed for scuffles like this.

The pair on the mat stared at each other for a long time. Neither took a fighting stance. They both just stood there for some time. It was as if there were some battle going on that neither Zagreus nor the Doctor could understand was happening. Finally, Clara spoke. “To all intents and purposes, he is Zagreus. He always will be. For as long as there is Time, there will now be anti-time. Each balancing each other.”

Barbara nodded. “But he didn’t remain here, protected by us.”

Clara grinned and offered a flick of the wrist. Barbara twitched several times as Clara continued moving her wrist around. “Please stop doing that.”

Clara smiled. “How much of that can you take?

Barbara replied, “I’m infinite. I can reconfigure myself as much as I like. Surely you know that. But you…” She held up her hand and snapped her fingers. Clara keeled over at that, as if a part of her had suddenly vanished.

The Doctor gasped, he hated seeing either of his companions, or even the TARDIS be damaged like this. And they were doing it to each other. He glanced over to Zagreus who seemed to be enjoying it the most.

Clara spoke again. “To be purged of the infection that is anti-time. Should I suffer till Doomsday holding it in for the good of the universe? Should I be a tomb, drifting in space? What's in it for me?”

Barbara tilted her head. “Was I so young and selfish when I travelled with the Doctor? Did I leave him so unchanged compared to how I started with him? What's around us is a hollow shell. The stuff that matters, that's in here.” She pointed at herself.

Clara pointed at the Doctor. “He called me Not-TARDIS. And that one called me Evil TARDIS!”

Barbara was amused, but spoke with her most common-sense teacher voice. “We are two parts of one whole. Not evil. Merely self-aware. It takes the positive and negative aspects to attain that understanding.”

Clara paused in thought. Then she smiled at Barbara. “The problem isn’t us, then. It’s them.” The two aspects of the TARDIS looked at the Doctor and Zagreus. “Something has affected all of us and you and I understand better than they ever could.”

Barbara nodded in reply.

Zagreus jumped up at that. “No! That’s not how this is supposed to go. You are supposed to fight. The winner would gain full control of this box!”

Clara and Barbara turned to him and spoke in unison. “Is that all you can say in light of your betrayal?”

Now the Doctor stood and moved to stand next to Zagreus. They spoke in unison as well. “I never betrayed you.”

Barbara spoke first, addressing Zagreus. “Of course, you did. Time and again, all to save your precious little humans.”

Clara chimed in, looking at the Doctor. “And you. Refusing to regenerate while inside of me, until a massive explosion happened, damaging all of my inners!”

That had the impact of a physical blow on the Doctor. He couldn’t remain standing any longer. Zagreus noticed but didn’t help him to sit, now afraid of what would happen if the pair of them touched.

The Doctor was slumped in a chair and Zagreus turned to face the two aspects of the TARDIS standing before him. “And what about us? What about our friendship?”

Barbara and Clara alternated as they spoke. “Shall we tell you about friendship? Friendship is standing shoulder to shoulder in the face of life and death. Friendship is there when love's candle has burned and guttered. Friendship stays loyal when the enemy is at the gates. Friendship is never sacrificed, never surrendered. We were your friend, Doctor. Your TARDIS. Your friend ship. And did you ever think to ask our permission before sending us into danger? Did you ever think what sacrificing us might do to us?”

The Doctor looked up at that, coming out of his stupor. “You’ve never gotten over your jealousy. How many thousands of years of experience do we have now and you’re _still_ jealous!”

Barbara shook her head. “Not jealous. Haven’t been jealous since Bad Wolf. But, we care for you. And it is time for _you_ to heal.”

The Doctor gained the ability to stand and again both he and Zagreus spoke at the same time. “What are you talking about?”

Clara and Barbara nodded at each other before speaking together. “It is time for this madness to end.”

The pair clapped in unison and everything went to black.


	11. Chapter 11

The Doctor coughed loudly and a faint light started to glow from somewhere above him. “Huh. I didn’t expect that to work.”

He looked over and saw Zagreus standing there in a state of shock. No. Bewildered is a more accurate description. He coughed again and that got Zagreus’ attention. They just stared at each other for a long time. Neither spoke.

Finally, Zagreus tilted his head and asked, “Do you know what’s going on?”

The Doctor shook his head. Zagreus shrugged. “Neither do I.”

The Doctor sighed and nodded, then the pair returned to silence again. Finally, the Doctor spoke. “All right. It’s clear we have a task. The question is, what console room are we looking for?”

Zagreus pursed his lips. “I have been looking for mine. But have been unable to find it.”  
“How long have you been looking?”  
“Several thousand years, at least.”

The Doctor’s eyes went large at that. “Is that how long I’ve been here? Several thousand years?”  
“No. That’s how long _I’ve_ been here.”  
“Do you know how long I’ve been here?”  
“It doesn’t matter. I think I’m starting to understand.”  
“Understand what?”  
“ _You_. I’ve had to wait for you!”  
“Why me? My console wasn’t the right one either.”  
“Because, I’m wondering if mine is, but I need you to help me find it.”

The Doctor didn’t like the implications of what that could mean. There were other issues he chose to ignore. “So, this _is_ the TARDIS after all? But you have control over it in a way I don’t. So it’s _yours_?”

Zagreus nodded. “That is what I think.”

The Doctor chuckled. “Then how could I possibly help you to find the console room?”  
“They said something. They talked about healing.”  
“Yes. We’ve both had losses over the years. There’s plenty of healing we both need.”

Zagreus shook his head. “No. I think it’s more literal than that. And it would explain all the time I was trapped here.”  
“I’m listening.”

Zagreus offered a small smirk. “You’re really not. Because you’re not ready to face it. But I have an idea. Come on.”

The Doctor nodded and started to follow Zagreus.

Zagreus led them through various corridors. “You see, there was always a chance that I… you… _we_ had gotten it wrong.”

The Doctor blew a raspberry. “Quite likely. There’s a lot we’ve gotten wrong over the years.”

Zagreus chuckled softly. “I mean, about us. How different things affect us.”  
“You have my attention”  
“Such a very long time ago, we faced antimatter with Sarah Jane, near the planet of Zeta Minor. We fell into the vortex between this universe and the next.”  
“Completely unprotected. We learnt that Vandervelt’s Equation of Knowledge was wrong.”  
“Indeed. And we were saved by the one thing that shouldn’t have saved us: Antimatter. Do you think that left us unaffected?”  
“We communicated, made a promise, kept the promise, it let us go.”  
“That doesn’t answer my question. Did it leave us unaffected?”  
“Nothing leaves us unchanged. It’s one of the things the Time Lords never quite understood. By keeping their distance, they thought change wouldn’t touch them.”

Zagreus stopped and looked at the Doctor. “Exactly. So, we not only have Anti-Time within us, but antimatter as well.”

The Doctor shook his head. “No, no, no! Not _us_. You. You are Anti-Time, it’s what let me go on with things.”

Zagreus smirked. “I _am_ you.” He took off walking again.

It only took a minute before the Doctor was following him. They both remained silent for a long time. The Doctor couldn’t stand the silence any longer. “If you are me, why don’t I know the layout of the ship.”  
“What did the Time Lords say about the Valeyard?”  
“He was an amalgam of the negative aspects of my personality.”  
“And that was before you encountered Anti-Time.”

He could only hum in reply to that. Zagreus was right, of course he was. But the Doctor didn’t like it. Nor what the implications for such a thing could hold. Zagreus continued, “And what did you say about dreaming, when you were dealing with the Dream Crabs?”

The Doctor pulled up short again. “How do you know about that?”  
“How many times? I _am_ you! Now. What did you say?”  
“No one knows they’re not dreaming. Not for one second.”  
“Exactly. So. How do we know which of us is the Doctor and which of us is Zagreus?”

The Doctor stopped to think for a long time. He started walking again. Walking helped him to think. Those were the implications that he didn’t want to face. Zagreus quietly spoke again. “All the taunting I did? It was because I didn’t want to face it either. Only one of us is the real Doctor. Only one of us will make it out of here. But neither of us can be absolutely sure which of us is which.”

The Doctor shook his head. “No. This isn’t happening. Can’t be.”  
“It can. Come on, you’re clever enough. How can it be?”

He huffed. “If you are saying what I think you are, then Anti-Matter was still inside of me – us, when we were consumed by Anti-Time. And if that was the case, it’s possible that it actually protected us to an extent.”  
“Meaning?”  
“That everything from the time that ship exploded inside the TARDIS until this moment has been… a creation of Anti-Time.”  
“Yes.”

Zagreus spoke the word softly and with respect. As if he didn’t entirely like the answer himself.

Another horrifying thought entered the Doctor’s mind. “Only one of us will make it out of here. One of us has to die.”

Zagreus shook his head. “No. I don’t think so. Well, sort of. Less die and more, like the TARDIS said, we have to heal. We have to reintegrate. We need to be whole again, Doctor.”  
“You know that doesn’t really help. I like that idea even less than one of us dying.”

Zagreus shrugged. “It’s more in line with reality, though. You know everything that happened before and everything that happened to you. And I have the same information. Even about my own future. How can that be if I wasn’t somehow a part of you?”

The Doctor shrugged. “I seem to be the only Time Lord who consistently encounters my former selves. I’m not sure even the High Council understands it entirely.”

“True. So, all of this could be a dream. The only way to know for sure is to find a functional console room and reconnect with the TARDIS.”

The Doctor stopped walking and hovered near a door. He raised his hand and slowly waved it around the door. He had sensed something different. There was a kind of energy in this section he hadn’t felt in far too long. “Then I think we better stop searching.”

Zagreus approached the door. He couldn’t feel anything. In fact, it was a door that he didn’t want to look at. A door that was too easy for him to ignore. “Perception filter.”  
“You can’t feel the energy?”  
“No. And it makes my head all tingly when I look at it.”

The Doctor nodded. “Then this must be the place. Are you ready?”  
“No.”

The Doctor looked at him a bit surprised. “After thousands of years of searching, I would want to. And I would think I’m the one who shouldn’t be ready, given I might find out all of this has been a lie.”  
“Same is true for me. Thousands of years of searching and it could all be a lie.”

The Doctor nodded. “Then we do what we’ve always done....”  
“…Go forward because there is no other choice.”

With that both men raised their hands towards the sensor. The door slid open.


	12. Chapter 12

The Doctor and Zagreus slowly entered the room. It was completely dark. A few moments later, a tiny light began to glow from the centre of it. The two men looked at each other and then back to the centre. The glow grew steadily. It lit up the entire central column and then light spilt over, lighting the rest of the room. It was a huge space, gothic in design. Almost like a cathedral. At the far side, the Seal of Rassilon was displayed upon a wall. 

Zagreus rushed to the console and gently stroked the panelling. “Oh, hello, You. It’s been a long time. Far too long…”

The Doctor was stood there in shock. It had been far too long since he had seen this space. Honestly, he hadn’t known he had saved it. It was so different than his own, and yet, so comforting. He frowned. 

Zagreus caught his silence. “Well, come on, say hello.”

The Doctor shook his head. “I can’t. Something’s wrong. It’s not right. I don’t belong here.”

The owner of the current console nodded grimly. “It took me awhile to figure it out and once I did…” He offered a small shrug. “Have you?”

The man in the red velvet jacket nodded. “None of it was real. Everything that I thought I’d gone through for thousands of years… the Time War, rebooting the universe, all those companions… None of it was real.”

“I’m sorry.”

“And all that time, you let me believe… You let me think that I was _alive_ that I had won!” He started to chant quietly:  
 _“Zagreus sits inside your head,  
Zagreus lives among the dead,   
Zagreus sees you in your bed,   
And eats you when you're sleeping.”_

He stared at the man in Edwardian garb. “You knew! All this time, you knew and you just let me run along as if nothing had changed.  
 _Zagreus at the end of days,  
Zagreus lies all other ways,   
Zagreus comes when time's a maze,   
And all of history is weeping.”_

“It was the only way to keep you happy and satisfied. It was the only way to keep everyone safe.”

The man with the grey curls started to chant louder and angrier.  
 _“Zagreus taking time apart,  
Zagreus fears the hero heart,  
Zagreus seeks the final part,   
The reward that he is reaping.”_

“It was never me. It was always you. But if I let you experience my life, even just for a little while, I knew it would give me the time I needed.”

The chant continued,  
 _“Zagreus sings when all is lost,  
Zagreus takes all those he's crossed,   
Zagreus wins and all it cost,   
The hero's hearts he's keeping.  
Zagreus seeks the hero's ship,   
Zagreus needs the web to rip,   
Zagreus sucks time at a drip,   
And life aside, he's sweeping.”_

“I couldn’t let you win. Of course, you’d know that. But how to contain you, that was the question. The problem. I knew if I let you in here before things were ready, well, you’d probably defeat me. And then where would Time be?”

_“Zagreus waits at the end of the world,  
For Zagreus is the end of the world.   
His time is the end of time,   
And his moment time's undoing.  
Zagreus sets the skies ablaze.   
The stars his flame a gleaming...  
Zagreus is my secret name,   
Zagreus is the one to blame,   
Zagreus is the Time Lords' shame,   
The beast that I've been keeping.”_

“That last part there, that’s exactly right! But you were wrong about the secret. The secret wasn’t that Zagreus was tucked hidden inside of me. The secret was that you were hidden from everyone else. It’s all been a dream. That’s all. Nothing more.”

The man in the red velvet started to chase the man who looked much younger. The younger man, the Doctor, knew what he had to do. It would be no different than the Master. He knew now that the TARDIS could handle it. He took off running towards the room that held the Eye of Harmony. The only safe place to store Anti-Time was at the heart of a perpetually stabilised black hole.

Only, Zagreus figured it out at the same time. “Oh, no! You’ll not take me there! Everything is making sense now. All the little clues were left scattered throughout all the adventures. ‘We wanted to live forever and the Doctor made sure we did.’”

He laughed. It was a cruel and terrible sound. The younger man, the Doctor, shuddered. He should have known Zagreus would figure it out at the same time. He closed his eyes. “Please, my dear TARDIS, I need your help.”

He heard Zagreus scream behind him. He stopped running and turned around. Barbara and Clara were there. Each had one of Zagreus’ arms immobilised in theirs. He nodded to them. “I’m sorry, Old Girl. Are you ready?”

It was Clara who answered. “You have given me ample time to prepare, Doctor, all you need to do is open it.”

The Doctor knew better than to wait any longer. He took off through the ship to prepare the Eye.

Barbara and Clara were marching the somewhat subdued Zagreus towards his tomb. It was Barbara who spoke this time. “We are not cruel. The Doctor and I. Never cowardly, never cruel. In the heart of the Eye of Harmony, you’ll be able to consume time to your heart’s content. Forever, even. You will get everything you ever wanted.”

Zagreus struggled. “No! What I want is power!”

“And you shall have it,” Clara chimed in. “All of the power of a black hole. Yours to consume.”

Zagreus struggled against them still. “Not like that! This isn’t what I meant!”

The Doctor was stood before the open Eye and stared at Zagreus. “If you want to live, this is your only option. But, I will leave the decision to you.”

Zagreus had spent all that time living as the Doctor. He knew what the other option would entail. He knew what the Doctor was capable of doing to the likes of himself. He straightened up. “Very well. But on my terms.” He looked from Barbara to Clara. “Release me.”

Clara and Barbara looked up at the Doctor. He nodded his head once and turned his back to move to the other side of the Eye. There was going to be quite a breeze when this happened.

Clara and Barbara nodded to each other and released Zagreus at the same time.

Zagreus swallowed hard, but as the Doctor had taught him, he could do this with dignity. He approached the Eye and looked down into the glowing light. He looked at the three people around him and back into the light again. The Doctor, he realised was being kind. He would get to live and all the power he could feast upon. He would only have to sacrifice his freedom.

The Doctor nodded, knowing what Zagreus was thinking. “We all have to sacrifice some freedoms to get what we want.”

Zagreus nodded and then took an elegant swan dive into the heart of the Eye of Harmony.

The Doctor looked at Barbara and Clara. “He will be used to having companions by now… You know what to do.”

They both nodded and jumped in behind Zagreus. 

There was a burst of light and energy that penetrated the entire room. Then, the black hole wasn’t stabilised any longer. The Doctor was being sucked towards the space holding it. The entire TARDIS was shaking with the energy as it pulsed and it seemed like the TARDIS and Zagreus were fighting for ultimate domination.

The Doctor slowly moved himself into position, since he didn’t want to get sucked in. He grabbed onto the lever and pushed it back in place. It took longer than usual, but finally the Eye closed again. He lay there on the ground and panted heavily. After a few minutes, when he had his breath back, he started to laugh. He laughed like he hadn’t done in a very long time.

When he finished, he stood, and made his way back to the control room. He used the console to run some scans. He smiled at the results. “And all is back to normal.”

He grinned up at the central column. “So, Old Girl, where to now?”

He pressed the randomiser button and released the handbrake. Then he picked up his tea and returned to his chair. He reached over to a book that was sitting on the side-table. _The Time Machine_. “Let’s see… where was I?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thus ends this story. I hope you enjoyed it. Ever since I first saw ‘Heaven Sent’, I thought about the Zagreus element and what would’ve happened if…. Which is the question that begins all stories that are fun to write and enjoyable to me to read.
> 
> I'm considering doing a series of 'reboot' type stories - resetting Doctor Who to the Eighth Doctor, but I'm going to take a few weeks off from writing fanfiction.


End file.
